Zephyr's Heart

I keep posting updates on Twitter when I should be doing it here. So sorry to my Twitter followers. They show up for fun, vintage, laughter and get super stressed out, upset me.

Zephyr saw his real vet yesterday, Dr. True has been our dog vet for many years, and I wanted her evaluation of Z's condition. It wasn't good.

There was a lot of technical terminology, but basically it came down to this: his heart isn't pumping enough blood/oxygen from the atriums to the ventricles, and also leaking somewhat backwards. Plus, it's skipping beats.

The simple human heart via http://anniesbiozone.blogspot.com/

People/dogs can live their whole lives with small murmurs, apparently, but she also said when Zephyr fainted outright on Saturday, that his body was saying, this simple coughing/heaving up barf is WAY to much and his body just shut down.

I like Dr. True for her candor. She took us through Shadow's (my dear sweet blue heeler's) bone cancer four years ago. She knows how much I love my dogs and horribly difficult that was. So, she basically said this:

He could have one day or one year.

And then all the blood rushed to my feet and I started crying all over again. Somewhere in my brain, having taken such good care of Zephyr, I have held onto this belief that he would live forever one. day. at. a. time. because since Shadow died that's how I was determined to live with Zephyr. We may not have tomorrow, so today, right now, we will go for that walk, go to the river, play, sit, curl up, NOW.

I also know this a difficult pace to keep when one of us has to work, make money, run errands, grocery shop, etc, etc. And apparently, that's me.

Plus, we found Trooper. And that REALLY threw a wrench in our one-on-one time. (Finding Trooper was a good thing, but I know it's been hard on Zephyr, the number one guy. The universe has it's own recipe for my life. I make a commitment: the best life for Zephyr, and so it says, "Oh, yea?! Well here's this! Boom!  And I fall in love with Trooper. Am I failing Zephyr? Can I be a good dog parent and love them both? My mind will go there, again, and again, and again. It's just how it works. It's just how I am.)

So... Zephyr started on Atenelol, a beta blocker, to slow down his heart pace--which is a bitch. (I took beta blockers for migraines. I couldn't walk two blocks without resting). But if they work out, then he'll start a blood pumping medication in two weeks.

Dr True made rules: no running, no chasing the ball, no long walks and NO STAIRS.

My bedroom is upstairs, and Zephyr's hideout when I'm not home. My bed is his safe haven. Last night he slept downstairs with a board over the stairs. He tried twice to get past it. It was another long night. This morning, I turned around and up the stairs he went...

I can not control the universe. I can barely control my life. How much of Zephyr's life do I want to control if we may or may not have that much time left. 

I want to bundle us all up in bed and stay there curled up. Just for now. And now. And now.

d, xo

p.s. I took Trooper with us to the vet that day. Zephyr was lying on the floor and Trooper went over and started licking his face. xo

Zephyr Update

Today was kind of a good news, bad news sort of day. The bad news is Zephyr's heart isn't pumping properly. This is new as far as I know, as he's never been diagnosed with any heart problems before. He has a Mitral Valve Insufficiency with decreased contractility--says the vet tech.

He's being put on medication in hopes of evening out his heartbeat. The vet says he may be lethargic for a while. We'll see.

Right now all I can see is no more trips to the river or long walks anywhere, which makes me horribly sad as those are our happiest times...I suppose we will see about that too.

There was good news, what was it? Oh, they did an additional ultrasound on his stomach. No tumors or blockage. So, that's good.

It's not even 11a.m. and I'm already done with this day. It's gray out, cold. I am putting the house on lock down and hiding with my guys. I made tea. Trooper's asleep in Zephyr's bed. Zephyr's asleep on mine. I think I'll join him for a while. We need some hug time.

d, xo

Zephyr

We had a scary happening yesterday.

I took the dogs on a long, fun river walk. But when we came home Zephyr started barfing up river grass--not uncommon---but suddenly passed out cold while I was watching. He just tipped over and went DOWN. I grabbed him and he pulled back up. He was having trouble getting the grass up and each time he hurled he fainted. He FINALLY got the grass out--a small hay bale, but the third time he was coughing up scraps he went down hard, couldn't get his head up and was scrambling terribly.

We were having so much fun!

I rushed him to the emergency vet across town--5:15 on a Saturday night! Of course! It was the longest rainy freeway drive EVER. He was ok after that. They wanted to run lots of tests--x-rays, blood work, ECG, etc. Then handed me an estimate that rivaled Trooper's teeth extraction.

On a side note: Universe! SERIOUSLY?!

I LOVE my dogs. LOVE THEM, even when they make me crazy, but we just had in a quick row: my little biopsy scare, Trooper's dental surgery, major car repair and now THIS?! COME ON ALREADY!! 

I called my mom, CRIED on the phone then regrouped. I made the decision to take Zephyr home and go to Trooper's vet today, Sunday, no appointment needed. 

It was a loooooooooonnnggg night. I woke to every peep, bump, snort, sneeze from both dogs. We slept with the bathroom light on. I kept sitting up and watching his breathing. He looked really tired, but ok.

So this morning--so, so tired--we went to the vet (also across town). She confirmed Zephyr's got a new heart murmur and wants him back for an ultrasound.  He may also have something called a vagal response triggered by the barfing that caused him to faint and may have something to do with his heart. :(

It was a really, really long 24 hours and we came home and CRASHED on the couch. He's been curled up next to me for hours, another sign he's not feeling so hot, but he is drinking, eating and peeing. All very good signs.

So, off to bed. Will keep you updated. Trooper's doing good. He came with us. I think it helped.

d, xo

Friday Cute Alert

Dog Libido

It's a sunny Saturday. The sky is blue. The birds are twerping, but we're stuck without the jeep, so we're walking to have coffee at my old haunt where I used to garden. I haven't been there in a while.

My plan was to sit, sip a cappuccino, do the crossword puzzle, while the dogs languished beside me, taking in the sites.

Wrong. Oh, so wrong...

I tied Zephyr to a plastic chair--he's not going anywhere--then I tied Trooper up short to Zephyr. I gave a nice firm "stay" & went inside. I came out less than 3 minutes later to find Trooper pulling Zephyr AND THE CHAIR down the sidewalk, while customers looked onward. Oh my god....

I wrangled them back, unwound leashes, righted the chair, but Trooper went into a full squirmy, yowling, toddler-esque fit.  WTH, dude?

It seems he was after a daschund that had just walked by, and he had no intention of letting her/him getaway.

"Bark! Whine! Pant!" He actually arched his back and tried to squirm out of my arms like a two year old.

I was dying. So much for quiet and inconspicuous.

Even after the daschund was long gone, Trooper would not be consoled, or acquiesced. He went all exorcist on me, so I alpha-dogged him, rolled him over on his back to subdue him. It worked, for a few minutes and then he was off again.

My beautiful frothy cappuccino was cooling.  The couple at the next table were gurumphing. I slurped down my coffee and let it go.

What I'm thinking: Trooper needs to be neutered. I'll wait a while, as we just had an operation, but it really needs to be done. Sorry little guy, but it's either me or your libido and since I'm paying your bills, I get to pick.

Life is rough when you're a dog. *Pft*

d, xo

Spring Snot

Trooper is one snotty dog today. His eyes are goopy. He scratched an itch on his face so badly it's bleeding a tad. And he looks more wind blown than usual. Spring is not his friend. And spring in Sacramento is really not friends to anyone with allergies, this being the allergy capitol of the universe.

We have had very little rain this winter and you can see the pollen streaming through the air. Achoo!

Zephyr had terribly allergies when he was younger. He'd chew and scratch horrible patches of fur off until he looked like a mangy mutt. Needless to say we go through a lot of Benedryl around here--easier on the dogs than steroid based meds and recommended by my vet.

Trooper is just too low to the ground--all that tall grass wisping past his face, the sidewalk crud blowing up into his eyes. I suppose this is a small dog problem in general. Poor Trooper. He just can't catch a break.

So, just when I thought we were done with the pre-coffee rounds of soft cheese and cat food on a spoon, we are now back on it. Ack. (If this baffles you, it's the only way to get pills in Trooper. His internal mechanisms may be wonky, but he can smell a hidden pill unless it's drowned in a juicy morsel of gooey cat food. Sigh.)

Now, if you'll excuse me Trooper is getting a bath. Clean off that pollen, breath in some steamy warm water, get last night's pee-and-dog park out of his fur.

And if you could pour me some coffee, that would be great. :-)

d, xo

Peeing and Humping: We Just Don't Do That

Trooper got peed on at the dog park tonight. It happens. He didn't seem to mind in the least. Dogs aren't really caught up in our finicky dilemmas--cleanliness, peeing in public, humping in public, whatever in public. Dog owners, I notice, are.

"Sweetums! Don't ROLL on that dirty grass. Ick. OMG, you just had a bath!"

"Charlie! For goodness sakes! Will you get off Petunia! We just don't do that!"

But, Sweetums wants nothing more than to roll in the barfy spot on the lawn. And Charlie can't hump enough, plus he isn't too concerned about who--male, female, large, small, dogs are all-inclusive humpers.

Zephyr peeing on Trooper. Or Trooper getting in the way. You decide. 

Red, a chihuahua mix, the same 9 lbs. as Trooper gives him a romp for his money. She throws him over like a WWF wrestling pro then takes him on like a scene from Showgirls: grind, grind, grind (insert Robert Palmer, "She's Addicted To Love").

Dude, I'm standing right here. Please. (Pee-on-a-bush-at-the-river envy)

Trooper is a humpy dog. Some dogs aren't. Some dogs are. Trooper very much is. And I'd let him carry on with his amorous ways--Hey! Get that heart rate up their, kid!--except for two very important points:

1) Trooper is NOT fixed. He's over 10 years old, off the streets and just underwent surgery, so he's doing better, but is still not at optimal health to undergo another surgery. And I've heard pros and cons about whether I should at all. I'm on the fence.

2) The more interesting of reasons is, the owners of Trooper's inamorata have sometimes looked terribly distraught to see their precious furry loved one's being pounded on by a furry little Ewok with a big glitter in his eyes. (Amorous is too weak a word. When Red leaves the park I have to restrain Trooper until she is long gone. He wants her that badly. Oh, Trooper.

Trooper would not hesitate to pee back on Zephyr, if he could reach.



We already anthropomorphise our dogs as it is. (I'm guilty too!) Shouldn't we let them have these few dogish pleasures?

Next week, well talk about dog barf and other fun dog facts. If you thought this was going to be all cute and cuddly dog stories, you didn't read the title.

d, xo